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And this is how Lorena lived her pregnancy without a father and many kilometers from her family, but not alone. “I was sharing a flat with 3 gorgeous Dutch girls and the people around me, especially my co-workers and my boss and her husband, became my family. There was always someone willing to accompany me to the doctor. I lived through the pregnancy until the eighth month in Holland and I just flew to Spain in the last week in which I was allowed to fly pregnant. I would have liked to stay to give birth and live in the Netherlands, but after 6 years abroad, and since my contract was just ending at the same time my son was born, it was time to go home ”. To this day, Lorena still does not rule out moving with her son to Holland, where she continues to visit what she considers to be her “second family” every year.
Now Lorena lives with her little one in Spain and explains her experience in a blog, ‘Single mother by surprise’. She has tried to rebuild her love life, so far without success. “I have lived with a boy for a few months but I realized that he was not prepared to assume the responsibility of fatherhood,” he acknowledges.
In addition, the day to day of a single mother is not the most compatible with the search for love. “As a single mother, the greatest difficulty in rebuilding your love life is the lack of time to be able to meet people,” she acknowledges. For a relationship or a potential relationship to develop normally, improvising meetings and appointments often come into play, which being a single mother is not feasible, since you have to reserve a day and time in advance to be able to arrange a simple coffee. On the other hand, there is a very great stigma and many men automatically flee from meeting single mothers out of fear or because they think we are looking for a father for our children ”.
It is not the only social cliché faced by single mothers. “A huge problem that exists in motherhood, and more so in solitary motherhood is the TRIAL,” Lorena denounces. If you have a child by your own decision, people speak, if you have an unplanned child (but desired as I say), people speak … Anything we do is exposed to judgment: and also very harsh judgments that many people do not cut off to do in front of you and that they would never do to a partner. It is exhausting”.
Unlike countries such as the Netherlands, in Spain there are no specific state aid for single mothers, and the group claims a State Law on Single-parent Families. Y